Summer Plans: Grow A Butt

June 29th, 2016

maria tettamanti

{Nookie dress (on sale!), M2Malletier handbag (on sale!), Aquazzura heels, Céline sunnies, Earrings and necklace c/o Taudrey, Bulgari ring, Lorriane Schwartz evil eye bracelet, Cartier bracelet}

miami fashion blogger

maria tettamanti


miami fashion blog

I borrowed this fierce LBD from my sister, so thanks, sissy! You see, my sisters and I will all agree that we were born without asses (which is weird, because we’re Greek). Our butts are much like ironing boards…flat. Sigh. With this said, I’ve been squatting like it’s hot during my workouts. I’m seeing a minor improvement but have accepted to fact that I’ll never be a Kardashian, which I suppose is a good thing.

Ok, let’s talk about something else because it’s against my religion to dedicate an entire post to the physical properties of my posterior. Wait, it’s not. Whatever. I’m on a bona fide quest for a gorgeous gluteus maximus…so judge! Things could be worse, you know. I could be on a mission for meth. SO THERE.

Anyhoo, I just got back from a short trip to New York (which didn’t help the consistency of my tush, by the way) with the family where we got to explore the City That Never Sleeps with my kids. It was my son’s first time there and he simply couldn’t get over the dizzying lights of Times Square, the endless sea of high-rises and the boundless street meat vendors. Seeing the Big Apple through his eyes was entertaining, to say the least!

Photos by Karla Garcia

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I Turned My Kids’ Baby Teeth into Charms

June 29th, 2016

tooth charm

mom blog miami

{When the camera focuses on your son and NOT the charms…}

tooth charms

Every parent has their own unique ways of celebrating their child’s first major life milestones. Some throw parties, some print out certificates, and some buy presents. But if you’re quirky like me, you turn children’s baby teeth into ornate charms, natch.

I enlisted Miami-based jeweler and friend, Joanne Stone, to create my special pieces. I adore them and wear them every day! 

If you dig them too, email Jo at

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And Now For A Mental Health Checkup…

June 22nd, 2016

maria tettamanti

{Faithful the Brand dress, Céline sunnies, Earrings c/o The Nomadic Collector, Necklace c/o Taudrey, Stalactite ring c/o Uncommon Goods}

faithful dress

santorini style dress

miami fashion blog

I’m jumping for joy, freaks! Those of you who follow me on SnapChat (@MariaTettamanti) know that I’ve been working out 5 days a week with Pilates, jogging on my own and a personal trainer. Sure, doing so keeps me in shape, but one of the main reasons I work out is to burn off the crazy. As in my nervous energy.

I feel mellower after a brisk run. I feel empowered after lifting weights. In fact, my own personal research data shows I’m a saner/kinder/cooler/less psychotic person after any form of exercise.

Working out aside, I’ve been taking a more holistic approach to my health. You see, I’m an extremely anxious person by nature (thanks, Mom!) so aside from working out, I’ve got to tame the itty-bitty-shitty-commitee in my head. Because mine doesn’t shut the eff up. It’s constantly yakking away and making me nervy. 

So in an effort to quiet my mind, I’ve taken up acupuncture (with Ronel Corbin in Miami Shores), B-12 shots and cryotherapy at (at Below Zero in North Miami). Both are completely different modalities but I most definitely feel Om-mazing after both practices.

Nama-stay on this get-chill journey!

Photos by Karla Garcia

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I Love the ’90s

June 16th, 2016


slip dress with tee shirt

{H&M slip dress, Gap teeRebecca Minkoff sneakers, Chanel handbag, Céline sunnies, Fendi Karl pom pom}

I’m am serving you some serious ’90s vibes here, freaks. I gotta say, I’m loving the return of 1990s trends — like berry-stained lips, chokers, big hair and Doc Martens. This slip dress and tee duo brings me back to those halcyon days two decades ago (FML!) where you could find me dabbling in the follow nonsense…

  1. Listening to Nirvana and pretending as though I was Kurt Cobain’s love interest in lieu of sloppy Courtney Love
  2. Obsessing over my asshole boyfriend at the time (you know who you are, asshole)
  3. Wearing “No Fear” T-shirts. Ewwwwww. That memory makes me itch. And twitch.
  4. Playing Nintendo’s Super Mario Brothers and failing miserably
  5. Watching Rug Rats as though it were my job
  6. Plotting the slow and painful death of that lying, cheating aforementioned asshole boyfriend
  7. Slathering Lisa Frank stickers all over my personal belongings
  8. Killing all of my friggin’ Tamagotchi pets (relax, dudes, they were digital)
  9. Creating mix tapes with tunes by George Michael, Prince and Madonna 
  10. Sleeping under a glittery ceiling of plastic glow-in-the-dark star stickers

Ah, I loved the ’90s. Welcome back to 2016!

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Buh-Bye, Hair!

June 16th, 2016

We Greek chicks are hairy MoFos so laser hair removal is a MUST in my life. So where do I go for painless (yes, painless!) laser hair removal in Miami, you ask? DermaClinic Laser (located at 175 S.W. 7th Street, Suite 1708, Downtown Miami). Check out the vlog above for deets!

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