Chain Gang Glam

October 23rd, 2014


{Denim romper c/o Kore Boutique, Messenger bag by Tory Burch, Chanel ballet flats, Earrings by Mia Jewels, Fedora c/o Target, Bracelet by The Bazaar Project, Vintage Chanel necklace}

Mari Tettamanti


tory burch handbag

kore boutique miami

I totally dig this look because it boasts a decidedly on-trend prison worker vibe AND THAT’S A GOOD THANG. Like, if Anna Wintour were relinquished to some quality time in the Big House, should would probably be given special treatment (because that’s how Anna rolls!) in the form of a stone-washed denim onesie like this gem. Because let’s face it, Anna wouldn’t be caught dead in head-to-toe electric orange. She’s allergic to such a fashion faux pas. She’d rather drink bleach or gargle glass shards than wear a prison uniform. Right? RIGHT?


I’m beginning to think all the meaningless television I watch is rotting my brain. Or making me insane. Which are basically the same thing. For example, I was sucked into some “Brazilian Butt Lift” infomercial wormhole last night at 12 a.m. and found myself on the floor, propped up on all fours, profusely panting as I raised my left leg in a concerted effort to banish all cellulite form my left butt check (which oddly inhabits more dimples). WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? One would think cellulite were  an equal opportunist. Bastard.

Anyhoo, I’m a sucker for rompers so this one from locally loved Kore Boutique is unequivocally adorable. Paired with Chanel accessories, Anna would approve.

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Bang! Bang! Bangs!

October 21st, 2014

Today felt utterly blasé. So what does one do as result of being bored to tears? Cut bangs! I so kid. The last time (and final time) I rocked bangs was when I was pregnant with my son (I blame my bipolar hormones) and I cursed my husband (for approximately 8 months) for sperminating me to begin with because they looked cute for 10 hot minutes and then I was over them. Between styling them and always feeling hot (I swear, bangs make one physically feel 30 degrees warmer) — I was vehemently pissed at my poor life decision. 


Anyhoo, back to being bored today. I had a few minutes to kill before picking up the kiddos so I popped into Gables Beauty Supply which is always a guaranteed good time — kinda like visiting your crazy Aunt Peg after she’s imbibed one too many Long Island iced teas. Uh huh.

I snooped around a bit and filled up my basket with the usual suspects — tingling face masks with the promise of erasing 7 years (7 years!) off my mug, Mistral soaps, zit creams, Essie polishes, more zit creams and other questionable knickknacks. And then — poof! — I stumbled upon the magical hair extension aisle and spotted clip-in bangs.


obviously bought a pair by Hair Do in a chestnut brown hue for $27. The toupée-like piece is super easy to put in compliments of 3 dummy-proof clasps. The end result? Instant bangs without the commitment. Or histrionic fits.  And I beat those boredom blues. A total twofer in my book.

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Nerd Alert: I asked Russell Simmons for a Selfie

October 19th, 2014

Russell Simmons

{Russell Simmons and I (in a Market top and culottes and Anine Bing moto jacket)}

My job as a journalist affords me the luxury of meeting all kinds of celebrities — which is spectacular and endlessly entertaining. Christian Louboutin once complimented me on my shoes (which were Manolo Blahnik — embarrassing!), Pamela Anderson imparted some vegan knowledge on me when leading a vegan lifestyle was relatively unknown at the time, Carolina Herrera waxed poetic on the importance of a crisp, white shirt, Oscar de La Renta encouraged me to garden more often, and Donna Karan tells me I need travel to Bali and Haiti asap because both are life-changing destinations. Duly noted, Cool Kids.

Oddly enough, I only get nervous around the famous peeps I feel like I “know.” And by “know,” I’m talking about the celebrities I voraciously watch on TV and stalk follow on social media. After years of following certain stars, I’ve forged faux relationships with them like a complete sociopath. These celebrities include: Nacho Figueras (my lawd, the things I’d do to that Argentine fox!), Rihanna (she’s the very definition of a “good time” — wink, wink), Madonna (every child of the ’80s is obsessed) and a few more. Russell Simmons is on that select list, too, because he’s a business mogul, the godfather of Hip Hop, my fave personality on Run’s House and his self-authored inspirational quotes on Twitter and Instagram are beyond. Bible, he’s the hip-hop buddha

This being said, I was bloody nervous to interview Uncle Rush at the Van Cleef & Arpels event at Bal Harbour Shops last Friday night because we’re imaginary BFFs, obvi. He was hosting the French maison‘s Perlée Coulers launch event alongside Allison and Chip Brady which benefitted his charity, Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation. Russell and I discussed his infatuation with yoga and meditation (he practices every day), his diet (vegan only), his go-to Miami restaurant (Soho Beach House) and how Miami is amongst his top three fave cities in the U.S. (NYC and LA are the others). 

He’s extremely present, gregarious and wise and we wrapped up our discussion with a — you guessed — selfie. And in typical Russell form, he imparted this knowledge on me: “Give… until they can’t live without you.”

You got that right.

Thanks, Allison Weiss Brady, for snapping this picture

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She’s So Basic

October 14th, 2014

Maria Tettamanti

{Theory top, AG jeans, Doloris Petunia necklace, Gucci sandals, Valentino rockstud tote, Evil eye bracelet from The Bazaar Project}

Mearia Tettamanti

valentino tote

doloris petunia


I dress according to my mood. And being a true psychotic Pisces, my emotions sway like palm fronds in the wind. Some days I wake up cranky, uninspired and wanting to reach for the Klonopin, which leaves me no recourse but to dress like a basic bitch — minus the Uggs and North Face fleece, of course. And what do I mean by “basic bitch?”  Well, it’s a pejorative term used to describe an individual who displays cliche, conformist or otherwise predictable character traits.

In regards to one’s sartorial choices, I’m referring to an ensemble that’s unequivocally vanilla and Plain Jane like the one in this very post. It’s not interesting, really. It lacks edge. It could use a little Rachel Zoe zing. But let’s face it, as a mom of two, it’s totally impossible to always have my fashion game face on 24/7. It’s completely unrealistic to dress to impress when I’m feeling tired, stressed and spread too thin. Mama needs to slap on her Juicy Couture tracksuit and James Perse cargos when she’s in a funk. Thus this safe bet above.

At the same time, playing it safe or basic can still look classic, feminine and on-point. I wore this getup at the recent Refinery29 event at Dadeland Mall and my handbag and evil eye bracelet made it into their “23 Lessons We Learned in Miami” slideshow much to my surprise. Which ultimately leads me to believe that this look may not be as Basic Bitch-ified as I previously believed!

Thank you, Kar Gar, for the pics



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October 10th, 2014

Miami Fashion blogger

{Romper by Nasty Gal, Clutch by Clare Vivier, Sunnies by Céline, Earrings by Mia Jewels, Clutch by Clare Vivier, Wedges by Tory Burch}

 miami fashion blogger

pearl earring

the vagabond hotel

Wow. This week has been a complete and utter shit storm. Like, literally. I’ve been battling the gnarliest stomach flu which landed me in the ER on Wednesday night. So I guess you could say I spent the entire week holed up in my bathroom — but hey! hey! hey! — I’m down 4 pounds. TMI? Deal with it. You know I keep it real here. Show me a person who doesn’t poop and I’ll show you a flat-out liar.

But you know, every cloud has its silver lining and that sliver of sunshine came in the form of winning the title as Miami’s Best Fashion Blogger by in this flattering contest created by oh-so-sweet Editor Ashley Brozic. I was up against some stiff competition — whom also happen to be my fave local bloggers — so I was pretty floored by the victory because the champ was chosen by popular vote.

To be 100% honest, though, what touched me the most in all of this was the genuine outpouring of support I received from my family, friends and readers like you. Without ever asking, so many of you shared the contest through social media, text and email. My sisters called me every five minutes (because they’re psychotic like me, obvi). My parents sought out a computer while vacationing in the south of France! My father-in-law phoned his friends in Mendoza, Argentina! My brother-in-law sent out an email blast! Elementary and high school classmates who I haven’t seen in years shared it on their Facebook walls. Heck, even our Japanese fighting fish, Fernando, voted. Okay, that’s fib.

All these kindhearted actions left me nonplussed.

So while it’s such an honor to be chosen as Miami’s Best Fashion Blogger, it’s a far greater esteem to have family, friends and fans as loving, caring and die-hard as the ones in my life. Mad gratitude to that.  

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